Top Ten 2016 Super Bowl Ads

Like most Americans, once a year I stop everything I’m doing on a Sunday night for the mother of all football games. The Super Bowl.  And the commercials.

I’m not a big pro football fan. In fact, I follow college sports more closely than I do professional sports, but you’d have to be completely off the grid (or living under a rock) not to know the Carolina Panthers were heavily favored to take the Lombardi trophy home to Charlotte.

I like Cam Newton (who doesn’t love a guy that tosses a game ball to a kid after every touchdown he scores), but Peyton Manning is…well…Peyton Manning and I always root for 1. the underdog and 2. old people.  So while I was pulling for the Broncos (and am happy about the outcome) I was really much more interested in the commercials than I was in the game.

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If You Can’t Be an Athlete, Be an Athletic Supporter

I have fond memories of following my high school basketball team along the road to winning the 1980 Connecticut State Class L Boys Basketball Championships. I remember the excitement evoked by the sound of our collective voices chanting “air ball air ball air ball” when an opposing player missed a free throw.

All our chanting and pointing and jeering was more than just rowdy behavior by a ragtag bunch of high school students. Our coordinated efforts from the student section united us with the guys on the hardwood and entitled us to a share of their success. We were “the sixth man” on that glorious roster and we were the champions!

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The Art of Manscaping

In case you’re still hunting for the perfect 2016 wall calendar, meet aptly named, Mike Wolfe – a fellow with an especially hairy back in Idaho. You might be thinking, what does a hairy guy in Idaho have to do with buying a calendar?

You’ve heard of guys shaving their chests, backs and even their nether regions, yeah?  [RELATED: The War on Pubic Hair ] Well, Mike Wolfe takes the art of manscaping to new heights. Literally. He’s compiled an entire calendar out of back hair art. I know, it’s weird and frankly a little (okay a lot) yucky and what the heck is back hair art? I promise I am not making this up and if you don’t believe me, check out Janu-hairy.

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The Truth About Baby It’s Cold Outside

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I don’t want to ignite a firestorm of comments about the secularization of Christmas. I know the reason for the season, but one of my favorite Christmas songs, Baby It’s Cold Outside, is being attacked by a bunch of misguided whining feminist harpies and I feel the need to defend it.

It’s not a religious song, I know, but I love the call and response cadence and clever word play. If you think this makes me a creeper, you obviously have been hanging around social media sites more than you should this holiday season and have fallen prey to the radical feminist hashtag du juor – #nomeansno – as in no means no because… OMG if you really listen to the lyrics it’s a date rape song!

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All I (Don’t) Want for Christmas

Dear Christian and Jared,

It’s that time of year…

Speaking of presents to pretty girls, in keeping with tradition [related post 10 Things I Don’t Want for Mothers’ Day], please do not buy me a CD of Swedish goats singing Christmas carols. And yes, there really is such a thing.

You’re welcome.




Merry Christmas

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