Letter to Parents of Screaming Kid in Maine Diner

Meet Darla Neugebauer, the Maine restaurant owner who went a tad bit berserk and yelled at a patron’s screaming toddler.

Whenever something like this happens a debate surfaces over whether it’s ever okay to yell at somebody else’s kid. The answer is no, but can we at least agree every single person in that restaurant, except for that kid’s parents, probably wanted to do what Darla Neugebauer did? It just so happened she was the first one to come completely unhinged.

Whether the parents of that screaming toddler are so smitten with their child they were oblivious to just how annoying a kid screaming in a restaurant can be or they’re just jerks, it’s obvious they need to face some cold, hard facts. Here goes.

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Free Your Pits

By now you’ve probably heard about the stupid waste of time movement in which women stop shaving and dye their armpit hair all sorts of funky colors because… they’re bored? Want attention? Hate men?

My gut tells me it’s just another radical feminist stunt aimed at riling up masses of people incapable of thinking for themselves over (and I’m making air quotes) the oppressive patriarchy, but evidently it’s not. It’s still kind of stupid odd if you ask me, but at least the tenets of the Free Your Pits manifesto focus on empowering women rather than degrading every man that ever lived and all those yet to be born. Admittedly, however, their use of the word manifesto, regardless of its content, is enough to give me cause for panic. Okie dokie.

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TODAY: Not Just Another Ordinary Day

On an ordinary day in 1982 an extraordinary boy asked me to be his partner for an eight-hour dance marathon. I said yes and we’ve been dancing ever since.

Happy 30th Anniversary, Pat!

Can’t wait to see how life unfolds as we dance our way through the next thirty years… and the thirty after that. I love you.

Happy Birthday, America

Discovered by my favorite Daily Caller editor/reporter. Enjoy.

(Read the entire article: Guy Playing National Anthem With His Rifle Is As Patriotic As It Gets [VIDEO])

Happy Birthday, America.

Swimsuit Models Are Real Women Too

This tweet from BuzzFeed.com caught my attention.

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So I clicked on the link and read the article and guess what I learned. (RELATED: We Tried On Victoria’s Secret Bathing Suits And This Is What Happened)

Unless you are already a Victoria’s Secret swimsuit model, when you put on a Victoria’s Secret swimsuit you probably will NOT magically look like a Victoria’s Secret swimsuit model.

Thanks for the newsflash, BuzzFeed staffers (insert sarcasm), but I already know nothing short of a miracle – let alone a swimsuit – is going to make me look like a Victoria’s Secret swimsuit model. Swimsuits are NOT magic and I get this because I have a brain. And a full-length mirror. And a penchant for Chic-Fil-A peach milkshakes.

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