Happy Birthday, America

Discovered by my favorite Daily Caller editor/reporter. Enjoy.

(Read the entire article: Guy Playing National Anthem With His Rifle Is As Patriotic As It Gets [VIDEO])

Happy Birthday, America.

Swimsuit Models Are Real Women Too

This tweet from BuzzFeed.com caught my attention.

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So I clicked on the link and read the article and guess what I learned. (RELATED: We Tried On Victoria’s Secret Bathing Suits And This Is What Happened)

Unless you are already a Victoria’s Secret swimsuit model, when you put on a Victoria’s Secret swimsuit you probably will NOT magically look like a Victoria’s Secret swimsuit model.

Thanks for the newsflash, BuzzFeed staffers (insert sarcasm), but I already know nothing short of a miracle – let alone a swimsuit – is going to make me look like a Victoria’s Secret swimsuit model. Swimsuits are NOT magic and I get this because I have a brain. And a full-length mirror. And a penchant for Chic-Fil-A peach milkshakes.

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Baseball Pants

Thanks to my son, who also happens to be the sports editor at The Daily Caller, for reminding me why I wrote THIS four years ago…

Summer baseball is here! You can feel it in the air! The pitcher’s wind-up, the crack of the bat, and parents sweating in bleachers as they once again ponder the question: Why does my son’s baseball coach insist on wearing a full uniform?

I recently sweated my way through a morning at City of Palms Park, the spring training home of the Boston Red Sox in Fort Myers, Fla. My son’s baseball team was playing the fourth of six pool-play games in the national metal bat championships (Perfect Game’s BCS National Tournament for you insiders).

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Poop in Beards = Feces on Faces

A while back I wrote about bros shaving their nether regions. If you haven’t read it, you can check it out here. In summary, there is a reason human beings have pubic hair. I don’t know what it is, but I feel certain there is one and what I do know is manscaping is a bad idea. Guys simply should not be shaving south of the border. Period. They should, however, be shaving their faces and here’s why.

A bunch of brave dudes allowed the folks at Action News 7 in Albuquerque, New Mexico, to swab their chin curtains in order to identify the sort of stuff that lurks in beards. John Golobic, a Quest Diagnostics microbiologist, tested the samples and found – if you’re the wife or girlfriend of a guy with a beard, you’ll want to sit down for this – poop.

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#WhyImNotVotingForHillary

REASON # 1

More to come. I promise.

Hillary Clinton at senate hearing on Benghazi: “What difference does it make?”

Hillary Clinton at senate hearing

It makes a difference to me… and to these men.

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#WhyImNotVotingForHillary

Proudly not voting for Hillary in 2016? Leave a comment below and let us know why.

Copyright © 2015 Just Another Ordinary Day  All Rights Reserved

FACT: Women with Flat Butts Have Lower IQs Than Women with Fat Butts

A few days ago I offended a bunch of liberal-minded folks by publishing a post on the findings of a Harvard University study, FACT: Liberals Have Lower IQs Than Conservatives. The truth hurts, but still, I don’t want to be responsible for anyone’s bruised ego so today I  issue the following warning. IF YOU ARE SKINNY WOMAN WITH A FLAT BUTT, PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

c7b_BigButt

Photo Credit: http://www.taprootfoundation.org/about-probono/blog/how-big-your-butt

Based on findings initially made in 2011 by researchers at Oxford University and recently confirmed by a study at the University of Pittsburgh, fat-bottomed girls do, in fact, make the rockin’ world go ’round. Yes sir, we’re not just exceptional twerkers. We are intellectually superior to our skinny, flat-bottomed sisters. And we manufacture freaking genius babies to boot. Seriously, there is actual scientific evidence that children born to bootie-licious mothers turn out to be brainier than kids with skinny-legged, flat-bottomed moms (a.k.a the kind of moms we fat-bottomed moms love to hate even if we are smarter). Anyway, I am absolutely NOT making any of this up and here’s the bio-chemistry “behind” it.

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FACT: Liberals Have Lower IQs than Conservatives

I knew it. Back in 2011 the International Association of Homing Sources reported the results of a study Harvard University conducted over the course of 12 years on 100,000 registered voters from 47 states. The conclusion: on average, liberals have lower IQs than conservatives.  I’m not one to say I told you so, but if the shoe fits…

At an event in Beaverton, Oregon, then Senator Obama claimed to have visited 57 of the 58 United States of America, while campaigning for president. Watch.

At the time Rep. Nancy Pelosi made this statement on job loss, our nation’s population was 309 million people. Watch. And listen. Carefully.

Remember when Rep. Nancy Pelosi lobbied for the Affordable Health Care Act (Obamacare) before actually knowing what was in it? Watch.

 Al Gore taking credit for creating the internet. Enough said. Watch.

 Marie Harf on Hardball with Chris Matthews earlier this year. Seriously. Click here to watch.

marie harf

 And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention liberal hippie air-heads.

Most of us don’t need a 12-year scientific study to draw our own conclusions about liberals, but it’s nice to have data from that bastion of liberal ideology… Harvard University.  Boola. Boola.

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UC Irvine PhD Student, Nick Gallo Op-Ed

Nick Gallo is a second-year PhD student in the department of computer science at UC Irvine and the author of the following op-ed, which appeared in the UCI campus newspaper, the New University on March 11. With his permission, I’m reposting it here. And it is a big fat freaking slice of awesome.  

Photo: Old Glory by Eric Haggart

Photo: Old Glory by Eric Haggart

Last Thursday the ASUCI Legislative Council voted 6-4-2 to ban the display of the American flag in the ASUCI lobby. This triggered a huge backlash among students opposed to the measure and received national media attention. UCI administration immediately went into damage control mode, releasing a statement that these students were “misguided” and that this decision was in no way supported by campus leadership. Chancellor Gillman promptly followed up, lamenting how it is “inevitable” when you get a bunch of “young people” together that some of them will occasionally express views that are “unconventional and even outrageous.” “It was outrageous and indefensible,” he exclaimed “that they would question the appropriateness of displaying the American flag on this great campus.”

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