Yesterday’s post was all about letting it snow, letting it snow, letting it snow. Last night we had an ice storm. Okay, maybe it wasn’t an actual full-fledged ice storm, but it rained. Then temperatures dropped below freezing, which means this morning Atlanta is waking up to an ice-coverd city, a frozen slippery mess. Rush hour in Atlanta is bad enough. Inclement weather already complicates things without adding the hazard of treacherous road conditions. I told you what happens to Atlanta drivers in the snow, don’t even get me started on Atlanta drivers on ice. It crosses from mildly amusing to downright scary dangerous. I really, really, really don’t like ice. Let me qualify that. I’m okay with ice on sore body parts and in luke warm drinks that should be cold. My point being there’s a proper time and place for ice, like, underneath a pile of cooked, deveined and peeled shrimp (tails on, of course) with a couple of lemon wedges tossed on for a nice garnish along side a bowl of horseradish cocktail sauce. (Sorry, I’m getting sidetracked). It’s ice-covered streets and little balls of it hailing from the skies that gets to me.
I don’t like that stuff that “weather personalities” have taken to coining “wintry mix,” either. You know, it’s that combination of sleet, freezing rain, hail, and snow all mixed together? Frankly, I find this whole “wintry mix” business to be a super-sized annoyance . I mean come on Misters Sleet, Freezing Rain, and Hail can you be any more obvious? Really? People do not like you, so you piggyback yourselves onto snowflakes, “Hey look at us, we’re with snow! It’s snowing!” Please. You are not remotely inconspicuous. Truth be told, you are as transparent as the plastic wrap covering last night’s leftovers in my fridge. We know who, excuse me, we know what you are, and you are NOT snow. DO YOU TAKE ME FOR THAT MUCH OF AN IDIOT? It’s degrading to me and to snow.
Anyway, icy conditions are dangerous, I’ll give you that much. Around these parts, things get postponed or even cancelled when it’s wet and the forecast calls for temperatures that will dip below or even hover marginally above that magic number 32 (degrees farenheit for you, non-American blog readers, who at first will think I’m crazy since freezing is zero celsius for you folks). Icy conditions have a domino effect on the lives of their victims. For example, Jared’s final exam, originally scheduled for nine o’clock this morning, has been postponed until ten o’clock. That’s not so bad. He always can use an extra hour of sleep, but my days are like finely choreographed dance routines. (SIDE NOTE: This is yet another reason why I belong on Dancing with the Stars, thank you very much.) One small delay changes my timing and upsets the rhythm of my whole day. First of all, today the greatest dog in the whole, entire universe has an appointment with the vet at 8:30. This will have to be rescheduled. Otherwise I may not be able to get Jared to school in time for his exam. I wonder if the veterinarian will be delaying appointments all day? I am sure the vet did not exchange the tires on her car for a set of snow-treads and chains so, it is a safe bet that she will be late, if she gets to the office at all. Next comes my snack bar shift. I am supposed to volunteer in the snack bar at Jared’s school from eleven to one o’clock this afternoon. I wonder, will the delayed exams impact my snack bar shift? Originally they ended at 11 and now exams will end a noon. And how will this impact review sessions?
I could go on and on, ad nauseam, about how this stupid ice is going to impact my plans for today. Will I make it to the UPS store, or the mall to finish my last bit of Christmas shopping? Will I get to the bank before it closes? Is everything going to be pushed back by an hour? Will that hour turn into two hours or even three as the day goes on, in the same way that time spent in waiting rooms stretches longer and longer as the day progresses and whomever it is you are waiting to see falls further and further behind? Will I finish baking my cookies in time to sit down and watch tonight’s episode of The Office with the rest of my family? AM I GOING TO RUN OUT OF TIME? I suppose if I do, that would make it just another ordinary day. Still, I don’t like ice, or wintry mixes, for that matter. I wish I could think of a song to sing about it, but the only one that comes to mind is “Ice, Ice, Baby.” I don’t have the right hair for “Ice, Ice, Baby,” plus I can’t rap, (Sigh) so I suppose I will simply say…
Merry Christmas to all and to all a… Good night. Sleep tight.