I feel your pain, buddy.
Yesterday was NOT just another ordinary day. It was National Lazy Moms’ Day, which is why this post is a day late. (I was too lazy to write it yesterday.)
Anyway, you may think I’m lying about National Lazy Moms’ Day being an actual thing. You may think I made the whole thing up just to have an excuse for feeling extra lazy. WRONG. According to the folks at National Day Calendar,
During the first Friday in September, National Lazy Mom’s Day delegates everyday mom jobs to someone else.
Boy sees girl in grocery store. Boy finds girl very attractive. Boy accuses girl of farting in bread section. Girl denies farting and storms off in angry manner before boy gets her name and phone number. Boy posts Missed Connection ad on Craigslist to find her. Sounds like the premise for a hit romantic comedy, right? Wrong. It’s a real life missed connection.
Remember when missed connection meant you’d missed the second leg of an indirect flight? Evidently it has another meaning now. According to Wikipedia (so it must be true)
Welcome to the Twilight Zone…
“There is a fifth dimesion, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimesion as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is in the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.”
ROD SERLING, introduction, The Twilight Zone (season 1)
Today may seem like just another ordinary day, but it’s not. Today is National Hug Your Cat Day. Seriously, I looked it up to see if it’s legit and it is, but I can’t help wondering. Do the cats know about this? I don’t have a cat (my husband is fiercely allergic) so I don’t know much about them, but it seems to me cats generally are not the hugging types. I suppose that’s why cat people need an official holiday on which to force their pets to hug them.
The world is divided into two categories of people: cat people and dog people. That’s not to say if you like cats you can’t like dogs and vice-versa, but people typically fall into one camp or the other.