National Pastry Day

Today is National Pastry Day and according to the folks at National Day Calendar (the authoritative source for official holidays commemorating obscure and unusual anniversaries) the best way to celebrate is with your favorite pastry. Since I’m a sucker for holiday traditions, here’s a cream puff on me. Watch.

Sarah Silverman hosts a weekly Hulu show titled, I Love America with Sarah Silverman. During her opening monologue on December 7, she described having an intense visceral reaction to watching an ex-boyfriend raise an American flag in his yard. It happened many years ago, but evidently she’s still thinking about it because she recalled feeling weird, scared and shaken at this seemingly simple act of patriotism. Having no idea why, she called her sister, Susie, who “knows shit” because she is a rabbi in Israel. Rabbi Susie explained, “Dude, nationalism is innately terrifying for Jews. Think about it. Flags. Marching. Blind allegiance. These things tend to ring a bell for us.” read more

(Belated) Happy National Saxophone Day

One of the things we do here at Just Another Ordinary Day is raise awareness of obscure, unofficial holidays that otherwise might be misconstrued as just another ordinary day. We’ve helped you celebrate National Make Your Bed Day, National Dog Day, National Chocolate Day, National Talk Like a Pirate Day and, for obvious reasons, one of my favorites National Hug a Newsperson Day. As the mother of a saxophone-playing newsperson, National Saxophone Day also holds a special place in my heart. It’s a day that honors saxophones and saxophonists, most notably Adolphe Sax, the musician who invented it. . read more

The Mad Pooper

I have a neighbor who lets his dog poop on our front lawn and then strolls off without picking it up as if he has no idea his pooch left a smoldering pile of dung in my flower bed. It annoys me, but it’s nothing compared to the Mad Pooper..

The Mad Pooper is a lady jogger who’s been terrorizing a family in Colorado Springs by pooping on their front lawn. No joke. She jogs by, stops, pulls down her shorts and poops in their yard. The first time it happened, the kids were playing outside. They ran into the house screaming for their mom, “A lady is pooping in our yard!” For the record, I cannot begin to imagine how I would react if my kids ran into the house screaming about a lady pooping in our yard. I’d probably lock the doors and make everybody hide under the furniture to keep them safe from harm’s way, but according to news reports this (super) mom actually confronted the deuce in the act. She ran outside, caught the offender mid-poop with her shorts down around her ankles and shouted something like, “Are you really taking a poop right here in front of my kids,” to which the Mad Pooper replied, “Yeah. Sorry.” read more

Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day

Shiver me timbers! Arrr, today be September 19… nay…it not be jus’ another ordinary day. It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day!  In order t’ be celebratin’ this auspicious occasion with zest and swagger, ye best be talkin’ like a salty sea-dog. Arrrre ye ready?

The Basic Rules o’ Talking Like a Pirate

  • Always say aye nay yes.
  • Always say ye nay you.
  • Always say me nay my.
  • Always roll yer R’s.

Jus’ Another Ordinary Day Glossary o’ Favorite Seafarin’ Hearty Words and Phrases

ahoyinterjection; used to express a greeting as in hello
ahoy, mateyinterjection; hello, my friend
aaarrrggghhhhinterjection; an exclamation of discontent or disgust
avast yeverb; look at this
ayeadverb; used to express affirmation or agreement as in yes
blimeyinterjection; used to convey surprise; short for God blind me!
blow me downinterjection; used to express strong emotion like surprise or shock as in oh, my gosh
bootynoun; stolen goods, especially jewelry, cash and precious metals like the family silver
bungholenoun; the opening in a bottle, especially beer and rum, that is plugged with a cork or stopper
cap’nnoun; short for captain; used as a term of respect
dead men tell no tails: idiomatic phrase; pirate’s excuse for leaving no survivors
deadlightsnoun; eyes
grognoun; diluted rum or any alcoholic concoction
ho: interjection; used to convey surprise or joy, attract attention to something (especially when pointing) or to encourage onward
hornswoggleverb; to swindle, cheat or hoodwink
landlubbernoun; an unseasoned sailor; a slow. clumsy person
meadjective; my
nayadverb; not
saltyadjective; experienced
scallywagnoun; scamp, rascal, scoundrel, rogue
scurvy dognoun; a disgusting, foul person
sea-dognoun; an old pirate or sailor
shiver-me-timbersinterjection; used to convey excitement or surprise as in oh my gosh!
swabverb; to mop or clean
three sheets to the windadjective; extremely inebriated
yo ho hointerjection; used to express great joy; typically repeated over and over at increasing volume while consuming grog as in yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! read more

Get a Haircut

I apologize in advance to all the hipster dudes and hipster-dude-girlfriends and hipster-dude-wives for what you are about to read.

I’m not a fan of the man bun. Seriously. Get a haircut. Wear a hat. Just please… lose the man bun.

Man buns are ridiculous. This has been my opinion since the very first time I saw one back in 2003. It was on David Beckham, but since professional soccer players – excuse me, football players – are obnoxiously annoying by nature anyway, I gave him a pass on the man bun. Still, the minute I saw him, I thought he looked ridiculous. Why would an otherwise good-looking guy choose to wear an up-do, I wondered? Before long equally ridiculous-looking man buns were popping up on the heads of men everywhere in all walks of life from Hollywood elite to regular Joes. I kept my opinion to myself because to each his own, right? Plus, if nothing else, a guy sporting a man bun seems kinda harmless. Probably not what your average dude wants to hear, but it’s true. read more