I don’t want to ignite a firestorm of comments about the secularization of Christmas. I know the reason for the season, but one of my favorite Christmas songs, Baby It’s Cold Outside, is being attacked by a bunch of misguided whining feminist harpies and I feel the need to defend it.
It’s not a religious song, I know, but I love the call and response cadence and clever word play. If you think this makes me a creeper, you obviously have been hanging around social media sites more than you should this holiday season and have fallen prey to the radical feminist hashtag du juor – #nomeansno – as in no means no because… OMG if you really listen to the lyrics it’s a date rape song!
Meet Milo Moire. The feminist “artist” who strips naked and squeezes paint filled eggs out of her vagina onto canvas. In case you missed the symbolism, it’s a nod to motherhood because giving birth is creating art with our bodies. Clearly she never gave birth vaginally and projectile pooped in the process.
I swear you can’t make this stuff up. Watch.
Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. Wouldn’t it be easier to use a paint brush? Maybe I’m unsophisticated, but that chick is whack. And crude. And her art is certainly no ode to motherhood. You want to give a nod to all the moms in the world? Nestle a watermelon full of paint up your hoo-ha, keep it there for 10 months, then squeeze it out and take it everywhere you go (including the toilet) for the next 18 years. Now that’s impressive. Whatever.
To shave or not to shave? Female armpits have become a battleground for gender neutrality warriors and considering the hoards of radical-feminists proudly tweeting photos of themselves sporting psychedelic floccularity, you might guess they’re winning. [RELATED POST: Free Your Pits]
WRONG. Recent studies indicate 99 percent of American women still voluntarily remove hair from their legs and underarms and many of them take extreme measures to get the job done. Enter miraSmooth™.
To shave or microwave? That is the new, hip question.
stupid waste of time feminist movement called Free Your Pits? You know, the thing where women grow their armpit hair, dye it all sorts of neon colors and post pictures of themselves on social media sites because guys-don’t-shave-their-armpits-so-why-should-we? [Related post Free Your Pits].
Guess what? A bunch of UC San Diego female students and alumnae decided to join the freedom crusade. They added guys-don’t-have-to-keep-their-shirts-on-in-public-so-why-should-we to the ever-growing compendium of social norms deemed aggressively propagated by the eeeeevil patriarchy to oppress women. Then they gave it a name (of course) – “body-shaming” – and promptly created a movement and organized a campus event to protest it. Hence, Free the Nipple. Watch.