By now you’ve probably heard about the
stupid waste of time movement in which women stop shaving and dye their armpit hair all sorts of funky colors because… they’re bored? Want attention? Hate men?
My gut tells me it’s just another radical feminist stunt aimed at riling up masses of people incapable of thinking for themselves over (and I’m making air quotes) the oppressive patriarchy, but evidently it’s not. It’s still kind of
stupid odd if you ask me, but at least the tenets of the Free Your Pits manifesto focus on empowering women rather than degrading every man that ever lived and all those yet to be born. Admittedly, however, their use of the word manifesto, regardless of its content, is enough to give me cause for panic. Okie dokie.
Obviously I’m good with women having the right to vote and earning equal pay for equal work. I’m on board with breastfeeding babies in public, but dyeing armpit hair? Whatever you call it – frivolous fashion trend or movement – the fact remains it’s still a bunch of women dyeing their armpit hair and instagramming or tweeting or posting pictures of themselves all over the information super-highway. Harmless? Sure. Weird? Definitely. Empowering? Not so much.
Seriously, am I the only one having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that dyeing one’s armpit hair is anything more than what it is? An utter waste of time. Period. Then again, I’m kind of busy living my life here in the real world.
The movement started around August or July of 2014 when How-to-Hair Girl, Roxie Hunt, “publicly came out as a woman in the beauty industry with hairy pits.” As the story goes, it was a cathartic experience for Roxie, inspiring her to make all sorts of consciously bold decisions about her life, including the one to conduct a creative hair dye experiment on equally flocculent, Rain Sissel. Rain, whose current armpit hair color appears to be green, instantly became known as “the weird girl with blue armpits,” and there you have it… Free Your Pits was born.
According to their manifesto, Roxie’s and Rain’s goal as founders of the Free Your Pits movement is to initiate an “evolving conversation about feminism, identity, body positivity, judgement acceptance and freedom of choice.”
Our goal is to use this demonstration of personal choice and expression to help broaden and challenge the standard of “beauty” in a society that already places way too many harmful standards on women.
We aim to steer this standard towards a celebration and acceptance of our unique differences and away from the existing cage that restricts us and causes us to wrongfully judge each other.
What we need is encouragement, not judgment. We greatly appreciate this opportunity to discuss how important it is to be true to yourself and to love your body, but we also recognize that women making conscious decisions about themselves should not in any way be shocking. We aim to normalize the concept of body hair on women and help others embrace their own if they so choose.
I’m old school so I shave, but the truth is I’m totally down with the whole be-true-to-yourself-love-your-body-quit-judging-others schtick. At least they’re not man-hating, castrating angry feminists pushing their radical agenda on the rest of us, right? WRONG. As it turns out, Rain Sissel is, in fact, an angry radical feminist. Humor me, would you? Read her bio and pay extra close attention to her hobbies.
There you have it: SMASHING THE PATRIARCHY. Puh-leeze. I’m amazed at the power those three words have to completely PISS. ME. OFF. Shave or don’t shave. Dye your pit hair or don’t. It makes no difference to me. In fact, it makes no difference to anyone and that, my friends, is why Free Your Pits is not a movement. It’s a stupid waste of time. From now on I’m sticking with what my gut tells me and at this moment it’s telling me to sing… RAIN. RAIN. GO. AWAY. And take your freaky, hairy armpits with you.
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