Happy National Chocolate Day

First published October 28, 2015

Happy National Chocolate Day, y’all!

As if Halloween isn’t reason enough to buy 10 pounds of miniature Snickers bars, consume 30 or so at warp speed in a single sitting, stuff the wrappers between the sofa cushions so nobody finds out and then feel guilty about it, October 28 is National Chocolate Day. The banks aren’t closed or anything, but it’s totally legit. I checked. So there’s no need to closet binge. You might as well celebrate…  I mean it would be rude not to partake, right? So… Let’s. Eat. Some. Chocolate.


National Chocolate Day is dedicated to eating, I mean celebrating, everything chocolate… with no limitations, no guilt, no shame and certainly no skinny-botox-injected salad-eaters getting in your face with their high and mighty you might as well just skip the chewing and swallowing and rub it directly onto your dimpled butt attitudes. 

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For your information, chocolate is actually GOOD for you. It’s healthy. Seriously. It’s chock full of mono-unsaturated fatty acids, plus it comes from cocoa which grows on cacao trees which are plants (green). So technically eating chocolate is like eating a vegetable.

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Anyway, the National Confectioners Association (like candy needs a congressional lobby) is responsible for proclaiming National Chocolate Day, along with over 20 other chocolate-related national holidays. If you don’t believe me you can check out the complete list of official candy celebrations here. Now go eat some chocolate.


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