Originally published on 11/8/2010.
I was reading my facebook newsfeed recently and was inspired by the following status along with the comments posted in response.
STATUS: While sitting on the toilet, I seem to have my greatest ideas.
COMMENT: I knew I wasn’t the only one!!
COMMENT: And women wonder why we take so long.
COMMENT: And I always thought my husband just ate too much pizza.
Apparently a toilet is not just a toilet.
I am the only female in my household. Well, I’m almost the only female in the household. Pudge, the greatest dog in the entire universe, is also female, but given her preference that the toilet seat be left in the up position, I can’t really count on her to vote my way.
Anyway, living in a male dominated home, I observe lots of curious habits, the least of which involves the amount of time my husband and sons are inclined to spend sitting on the toilet. I have often wondered why their daily constitutionals take so much longer than mine do.
It’s as if they head for the porcelain throne just in case they might have to have a bowel movement. While I, on the other hand, make privy when and only when my movement is imminent. I think Oops! Got to go! and I go. Boom. I’m done. I imagine Pat’s and the boys’ thought processes must be something akin to Hmmm. It’s 4 o’clock, which means I might have to poop sometime in the next 45 minutes. I think I’ll head to the bathroom, but first let me grab something to keep me occupied while I sit on the toilet and wait for it to happen.
I, on the other hand, do not read, plan menus, compile grocery lists, work on my blog, or do yoga when I am on the toilet. I get in and get out. Quickly. Boom. That’s it, and I’m on to the next undertaking. Lavatory visits are the only times during which I do not multi-task. Ironically, time spent in the comfort station is the only time the men around here seem to be able to multi-task.
I can’t recall a single instance in which I have seen one of the men in my household enter the bathroom without some sort of reading material, handheld electronic device, cell phone, iPod, or laptop. Really. I’m not kidding. I used to think all of these things were essential to a successful number two expulsion, but now I know I was wrong.
Thanks to Facebook, now I know that time spent on the toilet is an essential part of male brainstorming. What a relief to finally understand. Men have some of their greatest ideas while sitting on the toilet. Apparently, it’s not just a toilet. It’s a think tank.
Copyright © 2010 Antoinette Datoc All Rights Reserved