FACT: Women with Flat Butts Have Lower IQs Than Women with Fat Butts

A few days ago I offended a bunch of liberal-minded folks by publishing a post on the findings of a Harvard University study, FACT: Liberals Have Lower IQs Than Conservatives. The truth hurts, but still, I don’t want to be responsible for anyone’s bruised ego so today I  issue the following warning. IF YOU ARE SKINNY WOMAN WITH A FLAT BUTT, PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

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Photo Credit: http://www.taprootfoundation.org/about-probono/blog/how-big-your-butt

Based on findings initially made in 2011 by researchers at Oxford University and recently confirmed by a study at the University of Pittsburgh, fat-bottomed girls do, in fact, make the rockin’ world go ’round. Yes sir, we’re not just exceptional twerkers. We are intellectually superior to our skinny, flat-bottomed sisters. And we manufacture freaking genius babies to boot. Seriously, there is actual scientific evidence that children born to bootie-licious mothers turn out to be brainier than kids with skinny-legged, flat-bottomed moms (a.k.a the kind of moms we fat-bottomed moms love to hate even if we are smarter). Anyway, I am absolutely NOT making any of this up and here’s the bio-chemistry “behind” it. read more