Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day

Shiver me timbers! Arrr, today be September 19… nay…it not be jus’ another ordinary day. It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day!  In order t’ be celebratin’ this auspicious occasion with zest and swagger, ye best be talkin’ like a salty sea-dog. Arrrre ye ready?

The Basic Rules o’ Talking Like a Pirate

  • Always say aye nay yes.
  • Always say ye nay you.
  • Always say me nay my.
  • Always roll yer R’s.

Jus’ Another Ordinary Day Glossary o’ Favorite Seafarin’ Hearty Words and Phrases

ahoyinterjection; used to express a greeting as in hello
ahoy, mateyinterjection; hello, my friend
aaarrrggghhhhinterjection; an exclamation of discontent or disgust
avast yeverb; look at this
ayeadverb; used to express affirmation or agreement as in yes
blimeyinterjection; used to convey surprise; short for God blind me!
blow me downinterjection; used to express strong emotion like surprise or shock as in oh, my gosh
bootynoun; stolen goods, especially jewelry, cash and precious metals like the family silver
bungholenoun; the opening in a bottle, especially beer and rum, that is plugged with a cork or stopper
cap’nnoun; short for captain; used as a term of respect
dead men tell no tails: idiomatic phrase; pirate’s excuse for leaving no survivors
deadlightsnoun; eyes
grognoun; diluted rum or any alcoholic concoction
ho: interjection; used to convey surprise or joy, attract attention to something (especially when pointing) or to encourage onward
hornswoggleverb; to swindle, cheat or hoodwink
landlubbernoun; an unseasoned sailor; a slow. clumsy person
meadjective; my
nayadverb; not
saltyadjective; experienced
scallywagnoun; scamp, rascal, scoundrel, rogue
scurvy dognoun; a disgusting, foul person
sea-dognoun; an old pirate or sailor
shiver-me-timbersinterjection; used to convey excitement or surprise as in oh my gosh!
swabverb; to mop or clean
three sheets to the windadjective; extremely inebriated
yo ho hointerjection; used to express great joy; typically repeated over and over at increasing volume while consuming grog as in yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! read more

National Hug a Newsperson Day

April 4 is not just another ordinary day… it’s National Hug A Newsperson Day! Seriously. It is. And in case you think this is just another fake news story, think again. I researched it and hereby confirm National Hug a Newsperson Day is, indeed, 100% legit. Oddly enough, according to the official website, the best way to observe the occasion is to hug your newsperson, but no worries if you aren’t able to do it in person. You can send virtual hugs to all your faves by posting the official hashtag to social media. read more

A Day Without a Woman

Shame on me for wishing the fate of the Pussyhat would be the same as those hideous brides maids dresses we wear once and shove into the dark recesses of our closets. Alas, feminist whack-jobs in cities across America are slapping those pink puppies, I mean pussies, atop their heads once again and playing hooky from work because today is NOT just another ordinary day. Today is A Day Without a Woman.

According to the organizers…

Screen Grab: https://www.womensmarch.com/womensday

If you think NOT showing up for work or NOT caring for your home and loved ones is NOT the best way to shed light on the importance of women in society and the workforce,  CONGRATULATIONS! You are a normal, rational person. C’mon, you might be thinking, that’s not all A Day Without a Women is about, and you’re right. A Day Without a Woman is also about Reproductive Rights (of course it is!) and Gender Justice, which evidently is something to which gay, lesbian, bi, queer, trans, Two-Spirit – whatever THAT is – and gender nonconforming people are entitled, but not straight males who were born that way. I could share more of this idiotic manifesto, but you’d need a Pepcid, so I’ll just hyperlink to the official A Day Without a Woman page (SURPRISE! It’s on The Women’s March website) and let you troll at your own risk. read more

Talk Is Cheap

Check out how quickly these hypocrites bleeding hearts abandon their principles when asked to do something more than exploit the right to shriek speak freely and parade around with placards in protest.  Freedoms protected under the first amendment are precious, but talk is cheap.  Watch.

Practice what you preach.

#NotMyMarch

I contemplated attending the Women’s March on Washington for about a nano-second before I figured out it was not my march.

On Friday, January 13  – a week before the march – New Wave Feminists, a Texas-based pro-life feminist group, was added to the event’s official list of partners. Wow, I thought, maybe this is a sign that modern feminism is beginning to acknowledge that a moral opposition to abortion and a desire for political, economic and social equality of the sexes are not mutually exclusive. read more