I have a neighbor who lets his dog poop on our front lawn and then strolls off without picking it up as if he has no idea his pooch left a smoldering pile of dung in my flower bed. It annoys me, but it’s nothing compared to the Mad Pooper..
The Mad Pooper is a lady jogger who’s been terrorizing a family in Colorado Springs by pooping on their front lawn. No joke. She jogs by, stops, pulls down her shorts and poops in their yard. The first time it happened, the kids were playing outside. They ran into the house screaming for their mom, “A lady is pooping in our yard!” For the record, I cannot begin to imagine how I would react if my kids ran into the house screaming about a lady pooping in our yard. I’d probably lock the doors and make everybody hide under the furniture to keep them safe from harm’s way, but according to news reports this (super) mom actually confronted the deuce in the act. She ran outside, caught the offender mid-poop with her shorts down around her ankles and shouted something like, “Are you really taking a poop right here in front of my kids,” to which the Mad Pooper replied, “Yeah. Sorry.”