Ode to My Dog, Pudge

Things were fine before the best dog in the entire universe burst into our lives, but they were infinitely better – and sometimes worse, but mostly better – with her. We contemplated naming her Trixe or Peanut-butter, but settled on Pudge to honor Ivan Rodriguez or maybe it was Carlton Fisk. I can’t quite remember, but Pudge it was.

Pudge amused us with her antics. She ignored the no-dogs-on-the-furniture rule from the moment of its inception, drank from the toilet and notoriously unspooled entire rolls of toilet paper across the family room like a Halloween prankster whenever one of us forgot to shut the bathroom door. read more

Don’t Kiss the Dog

Originally published January 23, 2012.

I love my dog, Pudge. What’s not to love? She’s loyal, and smart, and cute. She’s the best dog in the whole entire universe. Even so, she is not allowed, under any circumstances, to kiss me. I don’t kiss her either. I will hug her, cuddle her, scratch behind her ears, and rub her belly till the cows come home, but no kissing. I simply will not allow it.

My kids think kissing the dog is perfectly acceptable. In fact, when Christian comes home after having been away at college for months at a time, the first thing he does is kiss the dog. No affectionate greeting for mama when he walks through the door. Nope. No leaping into my waiting embrace, proclaiming how much he missed me. Nope. He drops to his knees and kisses the dog AND he lets her kiss him back AND he seems to enjoy it. Blechkkk. Dog germs. read more

My Dog, Pudge

Originally published June 13, 2011.

Have you ever been loved by a dog? Not dog as in, “You need to leave that lyin’, cheatin’ dog,” or, “She’s a real dog, but has a great personality!” I mean an honest-to-goodness-four-legged-tail-wagging-bad-breath-in-your-face dog because, regardless of pedigree (yours – not the dog’s), nobody will ever love you like a dog. A dog’s love is unconditional and the only thing he expects from you is a lasting place in your heart. Did I mention that I’m loved by the best dog in the entire universe? That’s right. My dog, Pudge, is THE BEST DOG IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. Please do not attempt to argue that your dog’s better. He’s not. read more

Not Just A Toilet

Originally published on 11/8/2010.

I was reading my facebook newsfeed recently and was inspired by the following status along with the comments posted in response.

STATUS: While sitting on the toilet, I seem to have my greatest ideas.

COMMENT: I knew I wasn’t the only one!!

COMMENT: And women wonder why we take so long.

COMMENT: And I always thought my husband just ate too much pizza.

Apparently a toilet is not just a toilet.

I am the only female in my household. Well, I’m almost the only female in the household. Pudge, the greatest dog in the entire universe, is also female, but given her preference that the toilet seat be left in the up position, I can’t really count on her to vote my way. read more