Top Ten 2016 Super Bowl Ads

Like most Americans, once a year I stop everything I’m doing on a Sunday night for the mother of all football games. The Super Bowl.

I’m not a big pro football fan. In fact, I follow college sports more closely than I do professional sports, but you’d have to be completely off the grid (or living under a rock) not to know the Carolina Panthers were heavily favored to take the Lombardi trophy home to Charlotte.

I like Cam Newton (who doesn’t love a guy that tosses a game ball to a kid after every touchdown he scores), but Peyton Manning is…well…Peyton Manning and I always root for 1. the underdog and 2. old people.  So while I was pulling for the Broncos (and am happy about the outcome) I was really much more interested in the commercials than I was in the game. read more

#ReadyForKanye #WeAreDoomed

What do you get when hoards of status-seeking, grandiose, loud-mouthed, brash, flamboyant narcissists gather in one room to pay homage to themselves?

MTV’s annual Video Music Awards!

Remember back in 2010 when Lady Gaga’s ensemble, right down to the platform demi-boots and purse, was made entirely of raw meat?

If you can believe it, that whacky dress is on display at The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Ohio. Don’t worry though, it’s not crawling with maggots. According to the Director of Collections, the dress was transported in a climate-controlled truck to keep it from decomposing and then taxidermied, that is, preserved like beef jerky. If only Gaga knew you could make dresses out of SaranWrap, she could’ve maybe wrapped herself up and extended the shelf life. Maybe worn it a few more times before donating it. read more

FACT: Women with Flat Butts Have Lower IQs Than Women with Fat Butts

A few days ago I offended a bunch of liberal-minded folks by publishing a post on the findings of a Harvard University study, FACT: Liberals Have Lower IQs Than Conservatives. The truth hurts, but still, I don’t want to be responsible for anyone’s bruised ego so today I  issue the following warning. IF YOU ARE SKINNY WOMAN WITH A FLAT BUTT, PROCEED WITH CAUTION.


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Based on findings initially made in 2011 by researchers at Oxford University and recently confirmed by a study at the University of Pittsburgh, fat-bottomed girls do, in fact, make the rockin’ world go ’round. Yes sir, we’re not just exceptional twerkers. We are intellectually superior to our skinny, flat-bottomed sisters. And we manufacture freaking genius babies to boot. Seriously, there is actual scientific evidence that children born to bootie-licious mothers turn out to be brainier than kids with skinny-legged, flat-bottomed moms (a.k.a the kind of moms we fat-bottomed moms love to hate even if we are smarter). Anyway, I am absolutely NOT making any of this up and here’s the bio-chemistry “behind” it. read more